What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why do people see porn pics when they can watch porn videos instead?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What! how could you do that?

What do you mean son?

Who would win in this boxing matchup between these two, Dillian Whyte or Samuel Peter?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

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Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

True - how I loved my mum!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Can you name a female actress who has had bad timing or luck in her film career?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.